Try as I may I find myself back where I began. I have never been this screwed up about anyone before, when he isn't around I feel empty like something is missing and when he is around everything feels electric, like an energy. I have no idea what it is about him, I know that being around him is toxic and unhealthy because im putting myself through hell but somewhere inside he is genuine.

oh wow, i dont even know if anyone uses this anymore but I have needed to rant for such a long time and had forgotten that i own one of these. Okay so, work sucks, I havent seen any of my friends in so long, i feel like all i do is hangout with people from work, which is cool, because having more friends is awesome but like I miss my real friends so much. Ughh. Anyway so on top of my friends I have like the most frustrating guy problems, there is tim that i care for very much still but then there is joe, joseph milazzo, wtf, i have no idea why this gorgeous man decided to grace me with his presence but he did, and the worst part is he legit likes me and i like him a lot i just dont know what to do, he still talks to his ex, as do i but i mean, she is a huge bitch. whatever, I'll just have to wait and see where shit goes.

Summer is almost over. It's weird. I need to start hanging out with people more before the hectic life starts again. ugh. The twilight movies comes out in december and I am so excited, i doubt it is gonna be good but still it's cool to see like what you imagine come to life. Life's alright